Neurolinguistic Programming Fosters Multiple Perspectives
Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) is famous for helping people gain new perspectives on problematic areas. What better area than in relationships to gain multiple perspectives? As the saying goes, it takes two to tango, so in addition to seeing our own perspective, it is imperative to also develop the ability to see the world through the eyes and feelings of our partner.
NLP offers other key learning on relationships, such as the notion that the word "relationship" is itself a nominalization. NLP says that all nominalizations are intangible nouns which mask a deeper set of meanings and processes, which are unique to every person you ask. Perhaps the biggest shock for newlyweds is to discover that a "marriage" does not exist at all... there is his marriage, and her marriage, and those two mind-held notions are quite different to say the least. A nominalization such as relationship even means different things to the same person and different times and in different contexts.
There is No Such Think as a Relationship in NLP
Keep in mind that Neurolinguistic Programming regards relating as a process, not a thing... which is so powerful because a process can be changed, whereas a thing often cannot. In NLP, relating is a verb, not a noun. Relating has a structure, made up of identity, beliefs, values, skills, behaviors, and it happens in some environment. NLP would not ask "what is it about your relationship that you don't like", rather it would ask "what is it about your relating that is not working". This line of questioning allows room to maneuver and change what is not working. You can't change a relationship... it does not exist! You can change the way you are relating, and that is powerful!
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