NLP Techniques: Who am I?
Of all aspects of life that Neuro-Linguistic Programming can assist with, helping to define and enhance our self-concept is among the most powerful. I personally love working with identity, because self expression is one of the strongest urges our experience. A change in identity has profound changes in all other areas and activities of life.
The clearer we become about who we are as individuals, the more naturally we stand out and simultaneously integrate with others in the world.
In life, we can evolve through stages of dependence, through independence, and then achieve inter-dependence as Stephen Covey says. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi says growth and one's identity (self) is supported by a purposeful life filled with flowful experiences. Flow creates increasingly complex people that are at once more individuated and more integrated. Joseph Campbell's work tells that human life can be a journey wherein the hero of the story (one's self) progresses from a naive dependent individual through a series of adventures which define him or her. The hero then becomes a master of two worlds: the inner world, and the outer world being shaped by the inner and outer worlds, and shaping it in turn. Socrates urged us all to "know thyself". This is the ideal life.
Yeah, but who am I?
When is the last time you have asked yourself a question like one of these:
- Do I have any worth?
- How important am I?
- What talents, skills or abilities can I call my own?
- Am I a lovable or attractive person?
- Who do others say that I am?
- Do I deserve to enjoy life?
Our identity is a fragile thing. It is constantly under threat of entropy and disintegration. One sure thing is that who we are is always changing. We are not the same person we were a day or a month or a year ago. We've changed in subtle or obvious ways. Sometimes who we are changes for the better, and sometimes for the worse. Thousands of books, movies and songs turn on this truth.
We often get stuck, or all twisted up, or sideways as our self concepts develop in less than optimal ways. Often we grow up to become what others want or expect us to be, wearing a mask as it were, and creating inner resistance. Other times, our concept of self is tamped down by critical voices coming from outside or inside ourselves. Abuse during childhood is a direct attack on the child's own self concept, which NLP techniques can help to redefine. At other times, we are simply not aware of our own possibilities, and NLP patterns can help here too.
How Can NLP Help?
This section presents proven NLP Techniques and Patterns that can help the individual define him or herself in new ways, strengthen and tune up one's already healthy self concept, or re-imprint a stunted childhood self-concept with a more empowered and resourceful one. Once we know who we are, why we are here, and have resources at our disposal to fully express ourselves, the details just seem to work themselves out, do they not? Let's get started...
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